One of the reasons why I have a weak stomach is because I wasn’t well fed in my childhood. Both my parents worked full-time, long hours, and they didn’t know how to cook kids meals. They were relying on the food provided at the daycare and later at school, and as far as I remember it was always horrible.
There are kids who can eat anything, even garbage, and there those who are “picky eaters” and I was one of those (and both my children are like that).
Add to that the fact that there was shortage of foods available to general public in 1980s in Russia. Sausage, cheese, meets, tea, coffee were considered “luxury” foods and could be purchased only by special “tickets” distributed amongst families in limited quantities. Just having a ticket wasn’t enough - people had to stand in long lines to purchase these foods and some arrived at the store at 6am to take their spot in the line so those who’d come in the evening (like my parents) would get leftovers or nothing.
I remember one day ( I was 8 or 9) when I came to the store with my mom and we stood in a line to buy sausage that I really liked, we stood there for 2 hours and it was finished right before our turn... I was crying :-)
Also it was common in Russia to live with grandparents ( some families lived with them in the same apartment, others lived in the same town). Most kids whose parents worked would go to grandparents houses after school and Russian grandparents were masters of making delicious food out of nothing. Their generation survived the war and real hunger, so despite all the deficit of groceries they knew their way how to feed a family (particularly grandmothers). My grandmother was like that too but she lived far away from us and when I was sent to her ( usually during holidays) I gained weight. (BTW, I learnt how to make pancakes from my grandmother. She was a wonderful human being who unfortunately had to suffer from a lot of illnesses).
But most of the time when I was at school I was very very skinny looking almost anorexic. In our family everyone has a very light complexion (thin bones as my dad says), so when we eat poorly we tend to lose weight very quickly and people (well especially Russians and other Easy Europeans who often have a habit to say to your face everything they think of you) often make comments about how skinny we are.
I was constantly teased at school by other kids about my weight. This was probably the only weakness I had compared to other students and was exploited pretty well (oh kids could be masters of manipulation when they want to use you). In terms of school performance I was the top student in my class and the 2nd top student in my grade, and in Russian schools kids who performed better than average were often disliked, teased and bullied. Many just wanted me to let them copycat my homework others did this because of the “crowd effect”.
I started having stomach problems when I was in Grade 1. I had an endoscopy done twice (without anesthesia) when I was a child, was very susceptible to all forms of gastroenteritis, was hospitalized at least twice...
When I finished school and went to a university I started eating better and gained some weight, however it was difficult to maintain a diet I needed so I continued having problems and at the time when I had to take the medical exam required for immigration to Canada, the doctor was shocked by my weight (112 lb at that time) and informed me that in Canada such low weight would be considered a sign of a medical disorder.
Nonetheless, I moved to Canada and after 2 years of being a housewife gained 11 lb and almost got rid of all my stomach problems because I learnt to cook for myself.
Now here is the reason why I am sharing this story. People often tell me that I eat too much. Particularly, they make this comment because they can’t figure out how I can eat so much and stay so thin. Sometimes I bring a lot of food for lunch and just can’t finish it. Where do you think it comes from? It comes from the fear of loosing weight, it’s an emotional problem that takes roots from the childhood issues described above. I don’t think I can easily overcome this fear, not without a psychologist. Even though I understand it sometimes I just can’t control it... And sadly, overeating often makes me sick...
